Upon returning to my room, already expecting it to be demolished. Keep in mind, I am yelling this entire conversation because I am a loyal Jonas Brother fan.
L: WHY are there TELEtubby stickers on ALL of my Jonas Brother posters?? *Brandon and Anais points at each other* L: Anais WHY? And why are all the teletubbies covering KEVIN’S FACE? Is it cause you don’t think he’s cute? A: No because he’s funny! L: WHAT? A: Because I don’t like to laugh! L: WHAT? A: Because when I am laughing Ms. Holman gets berry mad at me in the classroom! L: You don’t like to laugh anymore? A: No. Only berry funny jokes or berry funny songs. L: Okay so let me get this.. you don’t like to laugh because you get in trouble so you covered Kevin’s face on every single Jonas Brother poster with a teletubby sticker..because he is funny. A: *very seriously* Yes. L: I hate you guys.
are dedicated to my theatre design projects due the next day. Gahh this random class definitely challenges me to find my dormant creative side and forces me to be inspired and imaginative on new levels every Wednesday. Tonight I am designing costumes!
The play Eurydice by Sarah Ruhl, which our entire quarter’s work is based on, causes this unexplainable feeling after you read it. But these weekly projects do help define the play in every way but words. Okay back to workk <3
Talking to my boy-friends from home, even though I should be sleeping, makes me really really really happy.
L: HAHHAA im not hooking up until i have my first real relationship J: HAHAHA! you’re just gonna get with some guy for like a month and then be like eff this now i can start hooking up L: LOL yup HEHE sometimes i get mad that the right guy hasnt shown up yet though hes totally wasting my time J: LOL ohh myy…. if it were the “right guyy” then you shouldn’t be hooking up with ppl Lool L: yeah well i mean right first guy J: LMAO! the right first guy any guy should be able to be the right first guy then since you’re already not planning on being with him for very long LOL L: .. you really are making so much sense right now i wish i could just listen to you
K: i met someone like you here L: haha what is she like? K: shes a brat L: darnit LOL
V: stick to your convictions and it’d work out for the even better
Sigh I love my housing advisors. I didn’t like puking my brains out and getting written up yesterday though :( But everything is a learning lesson I suppose. College is kind of crazy. I’m not regretful of my actions though because I choose to do them for the sake of having that certain experience. I also learned from yesterday that everyone in my house (which is the 7th and 8th floor combined) is really caring. I’ve been embarrassed all day finding out everyone thought I was going to die, but I’m really happy everyone is just so concerned in general. However, as much as I love getting the most out of life and college by doing a variety of new things, such as but not limited to partying, I don’t want to do it at the expense of everyone worrying for me. So I promise to myself to be more careful of that in the future. Anyway, today was a calmer day of course. I just got back from spending time at the music conservatory. I love going there in between classes to play piano and sing my heart out in the sound proof practice rooms, knowing that no one can hear me. I also love just sitting there and listening to the actual talented musicians practicing their different crafts. It’s my favorite place at UC San Diego, even though the school itself has a lot of beautiful places. And so far a lot of interesting momentss. We’ll see! Going to talk over ramen with my beloved roomies now <3 And study enough to kick my Wednesday midterm’s butt. Aja Aja Fighting!
There's no right way to live a life. You just switch it up every now and then and hope shit works out.
Everyone’s right. I really do overanalyze everything and worry too much. Everyone makes mistakes, and as long as I try my best to fix them and not make them again… I’m good to go! So I’m good to go. College is about learning and growing, I’m going to be embarrassed and mess up along the way. But then at least I know it’s going right. Aja aja fighting! :)
Mostly though, I’m just really happy I have good friends.
Ughh I have a lot of rules or certain sometimes nonsensical limitations for myself. Sigh after yesterday, even though it wasn’t bad at all, I am going to set some new mental rules. It was fun though! But certain things are more important than fun for me and unless I can preserve them, I can’t completely have fun. So I can and am going to do both <3
:/ This is actually from the lamest of my classes.. but I just want to remind myself to keep doing what I’m doing and it just all work out in the end. Sigh, I actually really need this same letter on my first math midterm tomorrow. So off to Calc Lab! Doesn’t hurt to know that Fallfest is tomorrow <3 I haven’t felt COMPLETELY stressed yet but maybe it also means I’m finally slowly learning the art of balance, and I like it. I like it a lot and I hope to keep liking it.
Frat party tonight, had lots of fun, and am now paying for it by refusing to sleep without doing a shitboat of work first. Fun day though <3 It is both good and bad that all my weekdays are like this. College is ridiculouss.
I remember emailing Lee at the end of August saying how I was more excited to go to his wedding then college. Reason being I’ve never been to a real wedding, and my hopeless romantic self has it on her bucket list to go to one. I still am excited. I was also ridiculously excited for homecoming weekend in general, the feeling of seeing all my friends again, getting to enjoy homecoming without the pressures of being president, and just having a packed weekend in general. The first two days of college I couldn’t wait for homecoming weekend, thinking how fun it’d be to return as a cool college kid. Except now it’s this weekend, and I realized I don’t WANT to leave this weekend and I’d rather stay here! Partially because I don’t feel like a complete college kid yet, since there’s still so much to do and so much to figure it out. And mostly because simply, I love all the figuring out and I love it here! Whether it’s because it’s just college and I’m becoming the person I want to be, or trying harder than ever to find that person, or because it’s UC San Diego and all the amazing people here, I feel weird having to leave this weekend. So there’s one difference. I still am super super excited to see everyone this weekend and to go home, but I also feel strange having to interrupt the whirlwind of change and progress that is college dominating my life. It’s a weird feeling, but I’m glad I have to go home this weekend, because it WILL make me happy and it will remind me of why I’m doing all this. Spending most of my day at Geisel tomorrow finishing week two and maybe even week three’s homework so I feel completely comfortable going home and embracing everything I’ve missed :) But I guess I just wanted to comment, although I haven’t said much about college, that I love it <3 I can’t believe this weekend is already almost here. Time sure is warped when you’re in college. I’ve been through so many new experiences but also seemingly not enough to already return home. Either way, I can’t wait to talk about the last three weeks with my best friends. I better deserve it then! Aja aja fighting! :)
“To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, it doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving up or giving in. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it isn’t defeat. To let go of something is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting, it’s learning, it’s experiencing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that once made you cry, laugh, love and grow. It’s about all that you had and all you still have. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. It’s growing up, realising that a heart can sometimes change and it can also be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, clear a path and set yourself free.”—