I went river rafting with my cousins for two days and I guess in that same two days a lot of things happened at home. Roommates came out but I can’t sign in to my email sooo I guess I will wait for that. Best friend Michelle is on her way to Boston right now. The biggest overseas event must be the fact that my grandma has been in the hospital the last two days. I really wish someone would call me from home right now sdkjflfsdfk. I go back to Hong Kong tomorrow morning and home soon, but it still feels not soon enough all of sudden.
But I know me worrying won’t make home come any quicker, so I am just praying everything will be okay by the time I return. As for where I am right now, I will never be able to express how I felt saying goodbye tonight, or even this entire month. Certain feelings or ideas, some languages have words for and others just don’t. Tonight I’ll use “gahndong”. When you say the word gahn, it means able to, brave enough to. And dong means to move. Together the two words somehow capture the swelling of one’s heart, I would say. So that’s how it felt. But more importantly, from this trip on and forever, wuo gahn dong and that’s how I know I’m ready to come home.
That’s the lame tagline of the photo store downstairs my house. I went back numerous times to develop some wallet sizes of Jonathan, Wiliam, and I for my dad and pictures of my cousins and I so I could give it to them before I left. LOL Who would have thunk the two people who work at the photo store are the kinds of people that make me wish my adventure could be prolonged a litttle bit longer. LOL They’re two guys and they basically thought I was retarded the first time because I couldn’t say what I wanted in Chinese or Canto (because when do I EVER talk about photo development with my mom or dad) and I didn’t know how to put my own memory card back in. I LOL honestly am :) over the boy who helped me. He just kept laughing at me and I didn’t want to tell them that I was American cause I was scared they’d trick me. So they just thought I was REALLY REALLY stupid LOL Then I went back just now and they already started laughing towards each other. So I just blurted out that I was from America and some of the things I just don’t know how to say and will they please help me and I WILL know if they are tricking me. The boy just laughed at me again and told me they won’t bully me. The second time went much more smoothly :) and they both sincerely helped me a lot even though I was too stubborn to follow some of their advice. The boy is really really cute! Too bad I’m leaving in four days and will be in the mountains river rafting for the next two days. But I think the pictures are cute and I hope Mei, Sissy, and my dad understand my “xing yi”.
Last text to my cousin..translates to I. Feel. Like. Shit. I decided to treat my cousin to a pedicure cause she treated me to one two weeks agoo. I also decided to get my first real mani-pedi-for-no-reason-just-because-want-to-look-nice. Together the bill came out to be 2180 RMB. Which is about 300 dollars. I don’t know if this is like normal or not..but fuck I feel reallllly bad. I spent a lot of money the past month, but I feel I’ve been really cautious and smart with all the thousands my dad gave me. This is the stupidest thing by far and now I feel like straight up merde everytime I use my hands/ look at my feet. My aunt feels bad cause she thinks we got tricked, but I think I just lost my mind for awhile and now I realize I will never be stupid and go to a nail salon ever again. I really feel ashamed right now.
Edit: I feel a little better after checking American nail salon prices and knowing that silk wraps cost like three times as much as I paid. But I still feel bad.
I called home just now strictly to tell my mom “JIA YOUUU” because today is the first day of school and I know it is crazy at home right now, with all four of the kids running around etc. Well actually William should have started class now, and Jonathan already left. I feel soo stressed after talking to my mom. Seems like no matter how much work I do here, once I got home it’s still not going to be a fairy tale. But my spirits are lifted cause I got to talk to Anais and Brandon!! My heart swells everytime I even think of my baby brother and sister. I don’t know if it’s cause I haven’t talked to them in a month, but Brandon sounds like a little adult and Anais sounds all different now. But I really wanted to talk to her because I don’t want them to be nervous for their first day of schools. Especially Anais, who is a popstar at home, but gets EXTREMELY nervous and shy in new surroundings.
Me: Anais, are you nervous?
Anais: Yeah I’m a little bit nerbous.
Me: Well don’t be. If you get nerbous, you won’t get all the new gifts I bought you. I bought new clothes-many many cute dresses-, new earrings, and a new backpack too! A Hello Kitty backpack.
Anais: I love you. I’ll try.
:( Mehh she sounded SOOO nervous though. I hope she has the best first day of kindergarten and Brandon has the best first day of first grade today. I also hope Jonathan’s first day of middle school kicks butt (the loser decided to carpool with his best friend so they don’t look like losers LOL) and I hope William’s first day of his last year of school is amazing. Sigh. It’s times like these I wish I was home. But I’ll be home soon. Then it will bring its own trials and tribulations once again. But also a completely new and pretty-sure amazing phase of life. And wellll what else could anyone ask for.
And I’m still awake cause my nightly routine consists of researching/preparing for even more aspects of SD and talking to Michelle. LOL I have spent the last four hours comparing book prices for all my classes, coming up with two new alternative “perfect” schedules, messaging Jonathan on how to be mentally and 100 % prepared for owning first day/year of middle school, and scratching my mosquito bites. Time to peace out! Goodnight world. Today was a good day for various reasons. I cant believe “school” starts on Thursday. I honestly technically have nothing to do with AUSD but still feel very involved because of my siblings and maybe even unknown attatchment issues. But then again, I have nothing to do with much of anything back in Arcadia, since I am still across the world for another few days. I am going to end this trip with a bang, as I like to do everything. :)
My cousin Meimei is studying to be a designer in Paris- at the same school Yves Saint Laurent graduated from. I can’t read or write Chinese and she sucks at English. Naturally I think it’s hilarious and pretty darn cute the only way we can communicate through text is in French.
LOL FINALLY. After going to visit my mom’s side of the family in Beijing then getting genuinely close to my dad’s side of the family in Guongzhou, this ambassador (LOL as my mother calls me) needs a day of rest! I am going to lazy around the house, watching Asian dramas on TV, use the computer, try to organize my two NEW suitcases full of stuff, and maybe do some sit ups.
My relatives make being alone in China so scary but if I’m not too lazy I’m just gonna walk a LEETLE farther than they allowed. Buy me back if I get sold into sex trafficking please! Off to find a bakery
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = Some sugar pear water thing cause I’m sick!!
2. last phone call = Daddykins.
3. last text message = Alex Wong
4. last song you listened to = Random shopping center music/ Tswizzle.
5. last time you cried = I would say today, but I don’t think it counted so in that case, I don’t remember.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice= Nuh uh
7. been cheated on = Nuh uh
8. kissed someone & regretted it = LOL Yes.
9. lost someone special = Yeah.
10. been depressed = Yup
11. been drunk and threw up = LOL Nope
FIRST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
14. Pink/Purple family.
THIS YEAR (2010) HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend = Of course! And many more to come :)
16. Fallen out of love = No, I haven’t.
17. Laughed until you cried = Everytime I’m with my best friends.
18. Met someone who changed you = Yeah. Lots of little kids
I haven’t been gone from home for a very long time, but every day my eyes are opened wider and wider. And sometimes I don’t want to see certain things, but every moment I am amazed and thankful I can see at all.
Not much to say except I hope every success I’ve made here is long term.
I really wish I was home for my best friends leaving, but I’m completely unable at goodbyes so it’s for the best I’m halfway around the world. And since, I’ve always been quite skilled at inopportune timing, hopefully this entire mission will be in my favor.
We found the underground place and we really outshopped ourselves today. There is still so much to buy in Hong Kong, but I am done with buying stuff for myself :) Back to shopping for sibs and frands. Thursday is my last real day in HK :(
The one person who can drive me nuts is: L: my brother and closed minded people V: my sisterr
High school: L: was fun but is stupid V: hated it
When I’m nervous: L: my heart beats really slow and i can’t breathe V: i feel like crying
I went swimming: L: we were supposed to swim on the roof top today!! but we are too tired :( V: in a really nice sixteenth floor swimming pool against the window overlooking all of macau all weeek!!!
The last song I listened to was: L: don’t stop believing by glee cast V: poker face by glee cast
My hair is: L: growing its roots out AGAIN >O V: weaved and gooood. I love it.
When I was 5: L: LOL TIFFANY. V: spoiled.
Last Christmas: L: BBBS HAD OUR FIRST GUY/GIRL SLEEPOVER LOL V: that’s right. we had our sleepover…
I should be: L: soaking my feet in Virginia’s vagina LOL jk they really hurt though.. V: running away from Leah’s farts. L: IM NOT FARTING
When I look down I see: L: my hair V: my bedazzled toes
The happiest recent event was: L: THIS WHOLE WEEK IN HK <3 V: YESTERDAY when we bought kevin liu a thong LOL with an elephant dick
If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: L: Phoebe LOL V: Rachel.
By this time next year: L: hopefully in Hong Kong again visiting dadd and maybe MAYBE MAYBE interning at a law firm. V: be in China <33
I have a hard time understanding: L: why asian dads don’t hug :( V: why I haven’t WATCHED INCEPTION YET.
I like you when: L: you’re real and I can tell <3 V: when you fart Leah LOL
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: L: my mommy V: my daddy
The thing I want to buy: L: LOL we wanna buy a shitload of stuff still- boots, bras, clothes, belts, makeup, bags, MORE SOUVENIRS FOR EVERYONE AT HOME (but no more thongs) .. still a lot of stuff. basically my dad said I lack style and embarrass him so I must buy lots of new clothes.. V: TROUSERS TROUSERS TROUSERS <3 BOOTS.
If you visited the place I was born: L: you’d be across from Beverly Hills Center!! V: you’d find a lot of AZNZ.
If you spent the night at my house: L: my babies might attack you and I will snore.. V: i WILL knock out before you
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: L: H&M denim shirt, skirt, dress, oxfords, Mac bronzer, Mac blush, Lancome mascara, socks!! V: Cotton On boyfriend jeans, black trousers, black lace bra, lace crop top, lace tank crop top, black silk shorts, riding shorts!!
Most recent thing someone else bought me: L: Virginia bought me a drank ;) V: Leah bought me DINNNERR :)
My middle name is: L: LOL “Maggie”. My mom lied to me when I was four and told me that and so I believed her for 12 years. V: I just plain out don’t have one..
In the morning I: L: hit snooze for an hour (that’s why I set all my alarms an hour early) and shower :) V: call Leah to get the fux up
The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: L: PEOPLEEEEE & horses.. V: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
Once, at a bar: L: I DRANK A KAMIKAZE LEGALLY IN HK! WITH PERMISSION FROM MY PARENTS. V: saw hookers with white men.
Last night I was: L: forcing Virginia to play speed with me until I won a game. V: trying really hard to lose at speed so I COULD GO TO SLEEP.
There’s this guy I know who: L: thinks he owns the streets of HK and gives me shit everytime I repeat some new stuff I learn about Hong Kong. LOL V: pretty much owns Macau but wears bright yellow swim shorts and tshirts.
If I was an animal I’d be: L: a unicorn V: that’s not even an animal, that’s a mythical creature.
A better name for me would be: L: Zoey or just call me Zoe for short. V: Vagina.
Tomorrow I am: L: SHOPPING. Going to pretty much the last place we haven’t gone in HK and buying more clothes (UGHHHHHHHSDLFKJLSKFJ KLJSDLFJLSFJ ) LOTS AND LOTS OF IT <3 and then maybe a musuem LOL or something touristy with my fellow HKers <33 V: Basically..same thing…………..
Tonight I am: L: THE BOTTOMS OF MY FEET HURT. and filling out a survey with my bff LOL and typing out every thing we’re saying LOl we’re gay so what huh. V: gonna own leah in speed again <33
My birthday is: L: Not as important as Tiffany’s ;(…………..I didn’t get a weeklong celebration… V: a day before Miley Cyrus’
OKAY! THAT WAS NOT PRODUCTIVE <3 BUT WE LOVE AND MISSSS EVERYONEEEEEE. TELL US IF YOU GUYS WANT SOUVENIRS!! <3
More shopping tomorrow <3 Few days left in HK :( but decided today that I shall be going to Beijing and then China, then finally home. Got a long way to go, but so far soo good <3 I love HK & my best frand :)
I decided today to just wear my new I <3 HK shirt because eff it LOL HK city people are rude either way! Went out around 11 and got some streetsss :) Hong Kong boba is soo good and walked around looking for converses for Jonathan and new phone for William. Ended up on Ladies Market and rapedd it. Probably didn’t haggle the lowest lowest prices but haggled MUCH better than yesterday and the first day :) Bought sooo much shit, which tends to happen when I shop by myself. I am soo going back with Cat<33, Janice and Virginia, cause I have a lot of money left still :) At the end, I bought the luggage I’ve always wanted to buy to store all my crap and lugged it back to my hotel LOL Now I am going to take a break in my room cause I’m pooped but very satisfied :) Today is a good for Olivejuiceleah day in HK. Virginia is cahmming and sleeping over tonight!! And the Mas just landed!! Before Vhee comes, I think I shall go back down to the streets…cause all of sudden, I can’t stay off of them :)
Edit: I have to pick Vhee up from the train station LOL and I think I am going to take metro to get there..just because I like to put myself in these kind of situations. Hopefully I don’t get lost LOL
Just now text convo:
Leah: Just raped ladies market Bbystar: By yourself? Wtf?? Youve learned!
Just took the elevator up with two cutestt American-Asian guys everr. We chitchatted then I walked out suavely once I got to my floor and they called out after me :/ Wish I actually brought gyming things so I could go to the 41st floor to gym with them LOL But wtf am I saying, I’m pooped! I hope CatLawlsies doesn’t see this but I am too tireddd to go to LFK again tonight. Shopping tires you the crap out! But you only live once <3
Edit: too bad the weather does not agree tonight. Thunderstorm again. Wasn’t even scared in my hotel room before but for some reason it has gotten scarier :( blah.
Today’s hero: Alex Wong!! I would have loved getting lost myself but this boy can speak AND read Chinese soo…no need for that. LOL Got lost together sometimes, but easily navigated metro/street markets today :) First night in hotel by myself, but I like it. <3 Moving all longg plot filled posts to Xanga. Probably should sleep soon for another day of Hong Kong tomorrow <3
EditP.S. I just saw all the people who liked my last few posts about HK (although I thought they were very boring) and I just wanted to thank everyone. It makes me feel soo supported even though everyone goes through little/big missions in life. So I feel really lucky :X The extra hearts makes me feel a little less alone in this big city and that means a lot. Thanks guys <3
And I’m not even talking about how completely gorgeous it is. I don’t have to worry about talking with my dad, cause it’s been nonstop questioning, etc. But.. I feel…sooo out of place. I’m living at the Langham Hotel. Which I saw a commerical of on the plane and was like wow.. I hope I can go there to perhaps have fun. But living here is much nicer. It’s across from the best place to shop as in huge mall (gajilion stories) and street markets. I didn’t even intend on shopping. Then my dad just gave me roughly 20,000 Hong Kong dollars which translates to about 2,000 dollars as just spending money for the next three days. KJDLFKJ Just I don’t know. I guess the adventure starts tomorrow. I don’t really wanna shop all day, although I do…but I think I will force myself to travel farther to use the money so I have adventure and the luxury I guess. I’ve only been here for about few hours but a lot has changed already. Not sure if it’s positive but for one thing, my dad has declared that he will be sending all money including college tuition into my own bank account. So I have to personally manage $1,000 spending money a month once I enter college. That’s weird. Sigh. Things aren’t too awkward but a TINY bit awkward I guess. I’m really fat here but I guess I am taken away everytime I come back to Hong Kong by how differently life is. I go to Guongzhou on Friday to visit family. But I’ll be back to Hong Kong at the end of the month. Right now my mom and dad are on the phone about me being financially independent after this month. I think it is safe to say, my Hong Kong adventures has just started. I really have to resist shopping ALL day tomorrow. I want Virignia come so I can take the metro to the HK dock to get her. THAT sounds like an adventure. But we’ll see. If she doesn’t answer I guess tomorrow my goal can be to make some Hong Kong friends :)? I wish I could hang out with Alex but my dad says I cant hang out with a boy by myself..LOL gawd. So I REALLY hope Janice and Jon get here soon. Cause yeah this is pretty amazing. I also must buy lots of gifts for family and friends.
On the plane ride here, I wrote a five page microsoft document about my goals and purposes and feelings coming to Hong Kong. I think I am slowly believing in my ability to make it all come true. Hopefully. But I guess I’ll have fun achieving my mission. Well anyway, Olivejuiceleah is just kind of taken away by her life in Hong Kong right now, but must come back down to earth. And then she shall conquer it!! <3
Yesterday driving back home from hanging out with all of my best friends one last time, I realized how scared I was. I’m not angry about the type of trip it may potentially be anymore, because I am definetly ready to survive and own up high class Hong Kong, despite my very pauper-like characteristics I like to embrace. But I was just scared in general. I have never been so out of my comfort zone by myself, and so vurnerable. I want so much and I really may come back with nothing but a feeling of dissatisfaction.
But it’s okay. It is totally and completely okay! This morning I woke up early and mechanically did all the last minute things I needed to do (still need to pack toiletries). And not cause I was “numb with fear” or whatever LOL but because I’m ready! I’m completely ready to go. When I know I have to do something (for myself and people I care about), no matter how foriegn or impossible it seems, when the time comes I’m going to do it. So I’m going to do this.
I’m going to go to Hong Kong for a month and try to create the kind of relationship I envision with my dadd and make him realize what he’s missed out on the last 18 years. For me but more for my brothers. Then I’m going to grow to love him for who he really is, after I find that part out, and let him know how much I do. It’s never something I really share with people, even my best friends…but there is going to be a freaking lot of unexplainable obstacles in doing all this. But even though my life could move on without all this, I don’t see why it should. Hmm and I’m going to come back with interesting asian gifts, stories of adventure, of me being brave, new places, experiences, and people. I’m going to come home feeling happy, satisfied, and not missing a single fucking thing I bring over there right now. And all of this, I can do. Because I wanted and want to! So I will. As for what kind of experience I should say this will be…well, let’s just see when I’m back. :)
A month is nothing, but it can be everything <3 Good bye America! I’ll see you soon, but for now I’ve got a mission in Hong Kong! Not a super clear one, but I know what I want inside my heart and I shall go get it.
good thing I have best friends. Virginia came over and packed my entire suitcase for me. Then proceeded to give me a make up tutorial LOL just one of the many steps to show them upp over in Hong Kong. Then Helen and Maya came over and I guess sometimes, maybe always, it just feels good to talk to your best friends. Also went through like 1,000 of my 5,000 (literally) face book pictures to find some photos of my past year to bring back :) I shall show them up. AND still get what I want out of my trip.